The Boredom of Ramfree17

Post Mortem

Mar 09

ErinRubbish 2 Comments

Post Mortem – After death.

This phrase is usually used in the Software Development Life Cycle (SDLC) to see what went wrong and what went right during the cycle in the hopes that it would be rectified and re-implemented in the next iteration of the SDLC. Unfortunately life is not like that. We only have one shot barring reincarnation that is not yet proven.

Before I proceed I would like to say that I don’t have suicidal inclinations, well at least not at the moment. I do however have the tendency sometimes to think about death objectively since, as they say, the only things sure in this world is death and taxes. 😀

Some have an irrational fear of death, considering it taboo to even talk about it for “fear” that talking about it is synonymous with inviting it. Experts always talk about worst-case scenarios and some of those are not even close to happening. I don’t have any fear of death but I am afraid of dying. There are still a lot more life has to offer but I am not afraid to miss those out if my time really has come. When you die you die right?

This post is really what I want and don’t want when I pass away from this existence. Feel free to join in but I would like to minimize religion to a minimum and deal with physical facts. As my father says, “when you leave this earth you no longer have a stake on what happens after”. Wise words. Death does not affect the departed but only those who were left alive.

Here are the things that I want to be done when I die:

• If I am still young then I want my organs to be donated to those who can use them. I guess my eyes is out of the question and probably also my heart due to my unhealthy living, but somebody might need a liver or gallbladders. For those who are not aware, the back of the Philippine driver’s license can serve (upon accidental death) as a binding contract that will allow the paramedics to tag your organs for donation without notifying your next of kin. I have already checked mine and I think all should too. You won’t be able to make use of your organs after you pass away so it is much better to have somebody put them to better use.
• I originally want my remains to be donated to medical schools for study and experimentation. I prefer if my body is donated to those medical students who have a hard time gathering the funds to buy a cadaver. I am thinking that by offering my cadaver I might be able to help save other lives. But I think this won’t come true as my wife said there is no way she is going to allow this. Since I won’t be able to object by then I don’t think I can do much about this. It is just my luck and bane that I married a loving but sentimental woman. 😀
• If the above can’t be granted then I also would want my body to be buried in a backyard while being rolled in a straw mat. I initially wanted to be buried under a rice field so that my decomposed remains will serve as nutrients to the crops that will feed other people. I realized this would probably scare people so I settle on being buried in a backyard then have a fruit tree planted on top to mark my final resting place.

  A mango tree would be ideal. I can only imagine with glee with the thought of the tree’s primary root going through my rib cage, or its secondary root enclosing on my bones. Then after 10-15 years there would be children playing on the tree branches and enjoying the fruits. Some can even hang swings on the straight branches and maybe the thick foliage can help alleviate the heat during summer.

  Nice thoughts, I just hope it could still be done given that the land we purchased does not have any backyard and I think my family would get in trouble with the law if they did bury me there. 😀

• The last resort would be to have my body cremated. My family can decide on what they want to do with the ashes. They can sprinkle it in the air (and cause some people asthma attacks), put it in a vase and display it the house, put them in pendants, or use them as seasoning when preparing dinner or lunch (ewwww!).

And here are the things I don’t want:

• I don’t want my cadaver to be put on display during funerals. I don’t want to imagine people peering over my coffin and saying stupid things like “he looks like he was just sleeping” or “he looks very much alive”. Excuse me, you wont catch me wearing makeup and I would take it as an insult if you think I look better dead than alive. 😛

  My office mate’s mom had it figured out when she asked her remains to be cremated immediately after she passed away and in the funeral there were only the vase of her ashes and some pictures of her. I want it to be the same if my remains are to be cremated.

• No flowers especially those in wreaths. I am dead remember? In case you don’t realize it, my sense of smell and sight went away with my life so I can’t smell and see anything. Do my family a favor and just give them the donation in cash so they would have something to spend for their basic needs. You can call it my final support to them if you really want to pay me respect.
• I would really hate it if I had a funeral procession. How much respect can you get by clogging main roads just so your remains can be “escorted” to the cemetery in a snail pace? You are already dead and you are still causing grief to strangers. Nope, I don’t want that to be me. I would figuratively turn in my grave, or in that case in the coffin while on the way to my grave.

  If there will be funeral procession then please dont let anybody walk alongside the hearse. The practice of walking slowly beside the hearse is no longer applicable since that was done in the old times to avoid getting the light of the candles blown away. Nobody even uses candles during funeral processions today. Let everybody ride a car, jeep or tricycle but nobody walks. Period.

• Don’t let my body decompose in a concrete-enclosed grave. I consumed a lot of food in this life so it is only proper that my body be returned back to nature. Call it “returning to the circle of life” or “ashes to ashes” but I don’t want to be useless at the very end. I have been useless enough when I was living.

Ending with my father’s universal response: “What about you?”

ciao!