Welcome to reality! A parody.

May 08

ErinHumor , No Comments

The image below was posted in a yammer group and I felt inspired to write a parody. All resemblance to real life are imaginary. It is not meant to reflect my place of work. Now with the legalese out of the way…

welcome-to-apple

There is work and there is your life-at-work.

The kind of work that has your and your team's fingerprints all over it as documented in the metrics you worked all night and submitted 1 day late.
The kind of work that you'd never compromise on, except with that tiny incident one that we don't really like to talk about as the metrics doesn't agree with it.
That we don't expect you to sacrifice your weekend but expect you to do it anyway because we over committed and under-estimated.
You can do that kind of work here. People here think safety first, where CYA is the norm and security, as we defined it, is the top most priority.
People come here to swim in the deep end but you need a swimmer and diving certification before you can do that. And you need to sign a waiver. Afterwards we still don't let you do it because it is risky and it wasn't an activity approved by HR.

They want their work to add up to something. We don't know yet but the laws of physics say that energy is not lost so it must go somewhere. I think it becomes a paycheck or something.

Something big, at least as was stated in the executive memos. Something that couldn't happen anywhere else except for Dilbert cartoons.

Welcome to the place where dreams meet the pavement of reality. In the wipe out kind of way.

Adieu to a dependable team

Mar 23

ErinHumor, Top of my head No Comments

Tonight marked a sad day for me for I had to say goodbye to a dependable team who have worked so well together and have accompanied me through a lot of happy and sad times. I admit that I have not been paying them much attention lately but at the back of my mind they are always something that would be there if I need them to help me get back on my feet.

Today is the day that I was informed that KFC has switched to Coca-cola products. My 2-piece hot&crispy chicken, large coleslaw and extra rice would have to do with another wingman as Mountain Dew has moved on to another place. Of course they can still get together sometimes for reunions but it would never be the same.

*sigh*

ciao!

Sweet nothings

Jun 11

ErinGarbage, Humor No Comments

Who said being together for 10 years can diminish the sweetness of a relationship? The conversation below that Neth and I had while having dinner last night is a contradictory statement to that premise. Names were abstracted to protect the innocent. ;)

X: Nakakapagod kang mahalin?
Y: Bakit?
X: Kasi napapagod na ako tapos mahal kita, kaya ganon.
Y: Ganon ba? Then I am sick and tired of you.
X: Bakit naman?
Y: Kasi I am sick; I am tired; and I am with you.

I know it doesn’t make sense but aren’t those declarations sweet? :)

ciao!

Some classic consulting cartoons

Feb 02

ErinHumor 2 Comments

Here are some classic cartoons that I have in my mailbox. I still find them funny. If for some reason you find these offensive because you are connected with the company then please take it up with the creators. Copyright still belongs to them and I am only hosting them because I can’t find the original ones. :)

Radio huhs?

Oct 23

ErinGarbage, Humor, Top of my head No Comments

  • A SMS message flashing on a very early TV-Radio show:

    “Pakigising naman po si [] … ” (“Please wake up [name]…”)

    I am still wondering how mass media can do that to a sleeping person unless their TV/Radio has a programmable alarm and they have perfectly timed it that it will go off at the exact time that message was posted. It would have been easier to just call that person’s phone or somebody from the same household.

    Here is your card….

  • A radio news anchor broadcasting the latest news about a potentially strong incoming storm:

    “May posibilidad na lumihis ang bagyo papuntang Taiwan. Magdasal tayo na sana lumihis nga at hindi na tamaan ang North Luzon.” (“There is a possibility that the storm’s path will deviate to Taiwan. Let’s pray that it will do so and miss the North Luzon area.”)

    I understand what the news anchor intends to convey but somehow the sequencing of the sentence was not right. Unless the $DEITY is the mischievous Loki, I don’t think it is right to pray that you pass on the suffering to your neighbor.

ciao!

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