A typical conversation during the long drive to/from work…

May 08

ErinGarbage 2 Comments

(A neighbor’s car overtakes us in the highway while we were going to work)

Wife: Kapitbahay natin yan di ba? [reads plate number] Ano pangalan nya?

Me: Di ko alam. Tawagin na lang natin siyang Mario [grin].

Wife: Ayan ka na naman. Bibigyan mo na naman ng ibang pangalan.

Me: Bakit, alam mo ba pangalan nya? Hindi naman di ba? At least sa akin me pangalan siya.

Wife: E hindi naman yun ang pangalan nya. Bakit di mo na lang tanungin?

Me: [lowers voice] Pare, ano pangalan mo? Kasi inaabangan kita tuwing umaga, para masulyapan man lang kita.

Wife: Yuck. Kadiri ka talaga.

Me: E syempre gagawan mo ng konting background. Alangan namang lapitan mo bigla at tanungin mo lang ng pangalan.

[pause while I was cursing the greedy jeepney driver in the road]

Me: Sige Joseph na lang. Mukha naman siyang Joseph.

Wife: Mukhang Joseph? Bakit mo naman nasabing mukhang Joseph? Ikaw ba mukhang Erin?

Me: Yup [raises eyebrows repeatedly while still driving].

Wife: E di ba si Joseph un tatay ni…

Me: Jesus.

Wife: Ano kaya tawag ni Jesus kay Joseph?

Me: Erpats.

Wife: Bakit erpats?

Me: Bakit hindi? Sabagay, di naman nya tunay na tatay un. Baog kaya si Joseph?

[I can see from my peripheral vision that my wife is giving me the ‘EYE’]

Wife: G**o ka talaga. Bakit mo nasabing baog?

Me: Me kapatid ba si Jesus? Me alam ka bang ibang anak si Joseph?

Wife: E bakit tayo?

Me: E baog tayo.

Wife: Ikaw lang.

Me: Sabi ko nga, baog ako.

Wife: Saka Virgin Mary nga di ba?

Me: So hindi sila nagtalik kahit kailan?

I am so going to Hell if I was still a firm believer that Hell exists. 🙂

Oh, I removed the giggles in the conversation. Just imagine where they will be. 🙂

ciao!