While not a fan, I appreciate the Darwin awards which “salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who accidentally remove themselves from it”. I sometimes describe myself as a person who have a low-tolerance for stupidity which is not really far from the truth. Note the highlight as that does not mean that I don’t delve in stupidity myself. I know that I do so more often that I would like.

Jeff Foxworthy/Bill Engvall, whom are both American stand-up comics, have a less honorable version for their routine in ruthlessly ripping apart common stupidity. The routine goes wherein they pay attention common real-life actions and instances that ends up with the quote “here is your [stupid] card”. I would pay homage to that routine for the small things that nag me every day.

Today I received another of those not-so frequent (thank you Fate) SMS from an unknown number that automatically launches to a greeting cum keeping-in-touch content:

God am jun mzta sanka nka detno ngaun c rudy 2. / Good morning Jun how are you where are you currently assigned this is Rudy.

Yes the human and English translation did not have any punctuation as the original message did not have one. This already tripped several alarm bells for being moronic. How hard is it to write human-readable non-encrypted words that can still fit the 160 character limit of a standard SMS? Since it was still morning and I am still in a good mood I opted to send a short reply in case the sender was waiting near his phone for a chance to get re-acquainted with Jun who for all we know was the only friend he ever had when they were growing up but for some reason his family moved out just when he was teaching Rudy how to socialize without becoming a menace to society. Alright that was over the top but I was getting ahead of myself in being riled up. My answer was:

Sorry, you sent the message to the wrong number.

And then I got this in return:

Nd aq wrong nm # sya ang nagbegay ng # nya skn. cno poh sla. / I didn’t send to the wrong number # He was the one who gave his number to me. Who is this?

This tripped several more bells that pumped my rage level from inconvenienced to peeved. I seriously considered wasting another peso in sending a reply but realized that it probably won’t matter and could only snowball at that point. I am just taking consolation in the thought that Rudy is still hovering near his phone and trying to wait for a message from his long lost best friend that has now opted to disown him. Mwahahahaha.

ciao!

As of last night, that is what I am. My victim is a medium-sized cat that either from lack of common sense or a heightened sense of panic ran directly in front of my vehicle. The event happened in an unpopulated freeway type road in Baytown, Angono. I am not a violent person and while I may have some regret for snuffing a life out of this world I don’t really feel any remorse. Cat-lovers might hate me for saying that but I only have the following pleas in my defense:

• Visibility was very poor. It was raining very hard that I had my wipers at the highest setting.
• My speed was under 40km/hr at par with the other vehicles going in my direction.
• The area was unpopulated and the cat suddenly sprang out of a bush and directly in front of my vehicle.
• I tried to brake to avoid hitting the feline but it was not enough. Swerving is not an option as I would hit the oncoming vehicles and the road is slippery.
• I think I scored a direct hit so it would have been painless and sudden for the cat. He was cold and shivering one moment and in cat paradise the next.
• When I drove past the same road on my way to work this morning, the roadkill was still there and was very flat. He actually looks like a cute area rug. The several oncoming vehicles and the torrential rain might have something to do with washing away much of the gore.

Not much of a defense but hey that is how things go in this world.

ciao!

[NOTE: A blog entry that started February and posted in March. Very un-procrastinator of me :P]

It all started with the desire to minimize the amount of waste we put out so I commandeered a broken laundry tub from our neighbor’s backyard and started a mini-compost pit. All of our food waste went directly to the tub which I covered with some sandy soil that I collected around the village. Decomposing is fun in its own way especially when I can find some worms that I can place in the tub to naturally hasten the decomposition process.

Then one day the chili seeds we threw in the tub started growing that I became so ecstatic. You see I always thought that I have the black thumb: the ability to kill any plant that had the misfortune to touch. When some tomato seeds started growing then that was the time I began transplanting the seedlings to pots and empty biscuit cans.

And here is the first fruits of my labor:

My first fruit harvest

Tomato Plant

Not much but they seem to be the best tasting tomatoes that I have had. The plant gave out around 5 more fruits but they were stunted because the plant itself started to die for some reason. I think it also have something to do with the excessive heat and strong winds that nearly killed and blew down most of my shrubs.

Oh yeah, I also have the following
– 4 Oregano pots courtesy of a single shrub given by my mother-in-law.
– 6 Tarragon pots that I split from a single pot bought from Tagaytay. I still have no idea though where I can use tarragon but these seem to be the ones heavily affected by the gusty afternoon winds.

Sorry tarragon offshoots

– 2 Mint pots that came from the single pot I bought from Tagaytay. We usually pick some leaves to put in a pitcher of Coke. When I become frisky enough, I’ll mix some mojitos.
– 1 pot of Basil that I don’t think are looking tasty enough.
– 1 pot of a Chinese parsley that had no chance of growing properly. The reason is we frequently prepare tokwa’t baboy to which we garnish with parsley. 🙂

And lots and lots of chili pepper plants. Some were already being planted on the thin front garden soil. To date I have taken two chili pepper pods from them. 🙂

The Chili Pepper Army.

More pictures can be viewed in the Picasa Gallery.

ciao!