I watched the film With Honors yesterday and since there is nothing else on the TV I placed it in the background while I was working on my TMA. Although I caught it on HBO a few time I have not seen the beginning.

The film couldn’t have a better timing. I have been thinking about my stay in UPOU, and my exasperations. Time and again I have stated that I am not taking it up for the degree. I am in it for the learning. But what have I learned during my 1.5 year stay? I would have to say a little because most have been a rehash of what I have already known from lurking from a few mailing lists. Aside from the course that teaches the concepts of assembly languages I cant remember a single thing that I learned from the program.

I am already weighing stopping as an option. In the movie, Simon Wilder (Joe Pesci) said Monty (Brendan Frasier) is a loser and he (Simon) is not because he is a quitter. Simon also said that quitters are romantics, maybe because they try to validate why they quit. Somehow those words keep on coming back to me even during my commute to the office. If I am going to quit then the only romanticism that I will attribute it is that I am no longer enjoying what I do and it is time to move on.

I assume my wife is going to have my hide for posting that. She and others might say I am wasting resources and opportunity if I will quit. Maybe I am, maybe I am not. Paraphrasing what a friend told me over dinner a few nights ago “have we come to the point wherein we have to endure things just to survive?” She was talking about bland food at cafeterias so we answered at that point in time the answer to her question is a yes. If I relate this learning endeavour to that question, is the completion of this program really the same way? Will the answer still be ‘yes’? Do I need to complete this to survive? At my deathbed will I really die without having regrets about it? One thing is for sure, I wasted nothing because I met a few invaluable people whom I am happy to call as peers. Some might even want me as their friend! 🙂

I might already be being disillusioned, or even nearing burnout, so I guess the right route for me is to take a sabbatical to sort things through. I like learning and would not stop learning but I am beginning to think that I should have stayed with my previous career course: being a jack of some trades and master of none.

ciao!