I am lifting the image below that I sent to some colleagues to highlight the power of deductive reasoning. The image originally came from 9gag.com but I am hosting a copy since this blog has been littered with broken links.
Batman vs Sherlock Holmes
The comment that I sent to accompany the email message has already been gone from the site. It explained the comics so I replicating it below for archiving purposes, with typos and all.
It’s quite easy, my dear watson. It is Apparant that the mask is used to disguie a well-known identity from society. a man using a double life is most clearly a famous person, most possibly a rich man who can use an expensive Cavlar suit and quirky gadgets. the square jaw indicates a good lineage, perhaps a doctor’s son. the bat-motif is most likely from a childhood trauma that branded into the man’s mind as a great truth in the power that chiroptophobia has on the common man… *puff* *puff*
I am cleaning up my work inbox to free up some space and came across an email from the “enthusiastic” events committee of the UPEM team. This was about the awards they give out during the year-end party. Guess which one is perennially mine. 🙂
Banksy Award – lives up freedom of expression via whiteboard graffiti
Bleep Award – for having the most “colorful” vocabulary in the team
Bully Award – do we even have to define this?
Caffeine Addict Award – for someone who drinks the most coffee in a day even if not collecting stickers for a Starbucks Planner
Call of Duty: Ghost Ops – for the one who stays longer than our core hours to fulfill duties
Could Have Been Sweethearts – their chemistry is palpable that in another time, place, and lifetime they could have been… We can rename this to Popoy and Basha Award? May second chance! =))
Duct Tape Award – for being able to fix issues, resourcefully
Early Bird Award – for consistently being early in the office
Fitness First Award – for someone who hits the gym regularly
Food Basket Award – for being a saint in providing nutrition to the team
Human Vulture Award – for eating anything found lying around
Iron Chef Award – for the person who always packs a delicious looking lunch while everyone else gets Ministop’s Nuclear Chicken
Keep Calm and Carry On Award – for being calm, cool, and collected on the highest severity of issues
Man of Steel Award – for being thoroughly dedicated to his work that no disaster can stop him . This is given to the teammate who had no or the least number of SL’s/EL’s for the year.
Megaphone Award – for actively voicing out (sometimes louder than necessary) his opinions to the team
Most Bromantic Couple – for living up The Bro Code
Mr./Ms.Seenzone Award – for someone who turns the Lync taskbar icon into a blinking light, and prefers the old fashioned way of one on one interaction
Neatest Nook Award – for having the cleanest cube in the office
One More Thing Award – most likely to extend meetings
Papa/Mama Bear Award – for someone who takes care of the team
Pig Pen Award – for someone who has the messiest cube in the office
Six-pack Award – for someone so funny, he can give you a six-pack just by laughing
Social Butterfly Award – for someone you are always up to date with due to his/her social media posts
Stuck Thread King/Queen – for consistently causing downtime in any of our environments
TMNT Award – for the one who demonstrates proficiency and skill in the art of stealth
UPEM Fashionista (female) – for consistently dressing extraordinary in an ordinary day in the office
UPEM Fashionisto (male) – for consistently dressing extraordinary in an ordinary day in the office
Our kitchen clock stopped working and the wife fetched from storage the clock I purchased from Ikea almost a decade ago when I was assigned temporarily in Finland. It was a pine-wood clock under the Doldis model name. It was smaller than the clock it replaced but thankfully it was still working and usable after all these years of storage.
The clock only has the hour and minute hands. The lack of the minute hands makes it not as useful when cooking. There was something else though that made me a butt of some jokes from my wife as I didn’t catch it when I bought the clock. Can you see it? 😉
We will keep using the clock. I paid good money for it and we can live with its “uniqueness”. 😀
[UPDATE] I am aware that using more than 3 Roman numerals is acceptable albeit non-standard. The clock doesn’t use that form for number 9 though. 🙂
Remember that foolish game played by female teens wherein they pluck the petals of roses while alternating between “He loves me” and “He loves me not”? I found a healthy alternative when we had to trim the Malunggay (moringa) sapling in our driveway and found myself delegated to “pluck the leaves” duty. 🙂
I gave up after the fifth or sixth branch. We already had enough for the Monggo guisado as well as have some extra for the other dishes that dont usually get the Malunggay treatment.
It breaks my heart but you we will have to wait a little bit longer. 🙁
Leo is ecstatic. He gets to be my b*tch slave for a while longer.
I wish I can go home early tomorrow and setup Ybi. 🙂
NOTE: Aybi (I-vy) is short for Aybarra. All of my machines are male. My wife already has to contend being second fiddle to my machines, giving them female names would just be adding salt to the wound. 😉
The image below was posted in a yammer group and I felt inspired to write a parody. All resemblance to real life are imaginary. It is not meant to reflect my place of work. Now with the legalese out of the way…
There is work and there is your life-at-work.
The kind of work that has your and your team's fingerprints all over it as documented in the metrics you worked all night and submitted 1 day late.
The kind of work that you'd never compromise on, except with that tiny incident one that we don't really like to talk about as the metrics doesn't agree with it.
That we don't expect you to sacrifice your weekend but expect you to do it anyway because we over committed and under-estimated.
You can do that kind of work here. People here think safety first, where CYA is the norm and security, as we defined it, is the top most priority.
People come here to swim in the deep end but you need a swimmer and diving certification before you can do that. And you need to sign a waiver. Afterwards we still don't let you do it because it is risky and it wasn't an activity approved by HR.
They want their work to add up to something. We don't know yet but the laws of physics say that energy is not lost so it must go somewhere. I think it becomes a paycheck or something.
Something big, at least as was stated in the executive memos. Something that couldn't happen anywhere else except for Dilbert cartoons.
Welcome to the place where dreams meet the pavement of reality. In the wipe out kind of way.
A few more minutes and the day that marks the 14th year of being with my wife is about to pass.
A steak dinner in Bistecca (courtesy of a gift certificate), dessert of swapped Magnum ice cream sticks being eaten while the car is parked in an underground mall parking, and a lot of “I can’t remember now” conversations to while the drive home. That is how we chose to celebrate it this year.
For my wife, who is lucky to have me and I to have her, I dedicate the chorus of this Guns ‘n Roses classic:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiBjCKKEe_E
14 years of silence
It’s been
14 years of pain
It’s been
14 years that are gone forever
And I’ll never have again
*ba-dum-ching*
[NOTE: Yes my wife already heard me quote that chorus to her a few weeks back. 🙂 ]
Tonight marked a sad day for me for I had to say goodbye to a dependable team who have worked so well together and have accompanied me through a lot of happy and sad times. I admit that I have not been paying them much attention lately but at the back of my mind they are always something that would be there if I need them to help me get back on my feet.
Today is the day that I was informed that KFC has switched to Coca-cola products. My 2-piece hot&crispy chicken, large coleslaw and extra rice would have to do with another wingman as Mountain Dew has moved on to another place. Of course they can still get together sometimes for reunions but it would never be the same as when they emerged together from the same counter.
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God’s great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, “You want chocolate with that?” And Man said, “Yes!” and Woman said, “and as long as you’re at it, add some sprinkles.” And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, “Try my fresh green salad.” And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, “I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in Which to cook them?” And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light fluffy white cake and named it “Angel Food Cake” And said, “It is good.” Satan then created
chocolate cake and named it “Devil’s Food.”
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy Center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald’s and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then Satan said, “You want fries with that?” And Man replied, “Yes,! And super size them!” And Satan said, “It is good.” And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created HMOs.
Thought for the day ….
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
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